The Pickle Crop
Croppiez presents Dink Me Softly
What if I told you, not all is kosher on the pickle court. That wiffle balls, bounced. That there was, in fact, a sport for your arthritic grandpa. And that the kitchen was a place for the best of men.
Jake is 6'1, 175lbs wearing size M
Material
This shirt is made of organic Wolverine Adamantium (claws not-included).
At 250gsm 100% Cotton, these threads are tougher than David Goggins and thicker than my ex-wife’s sister. This material makes the Shield of Achilles feel like leftover Spaghetti.
Crafted for Comfort: Made from the finest, breathable cotton, these crop tops ensure a comfortable and relaxed fit. Perfect for making a statement at the gym, a weekend outing, or simply lounging with a twist of humor.
Crop Care
In many ways, it’s the shirt that cares for you. Not the other way around. With that said, be sure to sing gentle hymns to your shirt on a nightly basis. Then, exactly 1 hour prior to the sunrise, perform a Japanese Shiatsu massage on the *back* of your shirt until the sun can be fully viewed. Finally, present the shirt to the sun as if it were Simba in the opening scene of The Lion King.
We recommend showering with the shirt on, otherwise, wash cold and tumble dry.
Returns & Exchanges
We know this steak was cooked to perfection. But if you feel like bothering the Michelin-rated Chef, send an email. We’ll even pay for it.