CROP TOPS ARE BACK
OBSCURE LEGENDS
The crop manifesto
We are the liberators of the cotton-threaded anchor of the abdomen, a straitjacket oppressing boundless potential.
The time has come to unleash the Umbilicus and Reclaim your Greatness, oh Beacons of the Belly.
Because No Gut, No Glory.
FREE CROPDUSTER INCLUDED WITH EVERY PURCHASE
Polish your podium for a clean runway to greatness.
"I’ve been hopelessly unemployed for years. That’s all until I joined the Crop Cult. Upon receiving this holy garment, I received an unexpected call from one, Elon Musk. I’m now the acting President of SpaceX (now CropX) where we’re redirecting our efforts towards reducing cotton emissions and ending the long shirt epidemic."
- LEBRON J.
"I entered an ultra marathon race wearing my Croppie without a single day of training. I hate running so I bear-crawled the entire thing. You’re looking at the new world record holder."
- KEANU R.
"Since purchasing my Croppie, I’m 4-1 in fights vs the other dads at my 9 year old son’s Little League Games."
- DWAYNE J.
"My kids don’t have a shirt tail to wipe their snotty little hands and faces on anymore. And for that, I thank you."
-George G.
UNBOX GREATNESS & EAT THE COMPETITION FOR BREAKFAST
First edition thread treasure chest.
CAPES 4 KIDDOZ
Every day, kids across the country are fighting the good fight, battling unfair & difficult diagnoses. Your crop, specifically that unwanted, unnecessary midriff, is transformed into superhero capes for little warriors across local Children’s Hospitals. The capes can be worn proudly where families & friends can write messages of encouragement & love across the threads.
Not all heroes wear capes, but they damn well should.